In this stream of consciousness transcript of one session under hypnotic suggestion, I began with a current life memory and regressed to a prior life experience whose memory was stimulated by the present life situation. Added emphasis appears in red, and my reactions are enclosed in a box:

In garage as a boy making stepladders for hardware stores. About 12 years old. Rather be out here with the other kids, feel cheated, fearful of father. No choice. Tired, long hours hunching over machines meant bending over. Foot pedal. Good feeling of accomplishment. Burden very little teen age time. Would you like to play? What about fixing your life to work 5 days a week and 2 days do what you like. Appreciate freedom to do what you want to like that. Stress patterns served you well. Accomplished things otherwise unable to do.

This far memory began in my present life when I was projected back to the time in grammar school when my neighborhood friends stood outside the garage door where I was working and asked me to come out and play. This set the tone for discovery in this far memory.

Father did not praise demonstratively. Mother more appreciative. Children over left shoulder. Why isn't he here with us. Felt left out. Still feel left out. Just a belief. Distracts from what you are all about. Appropriate response. Not true any more. Fact is they may have been jealous. Farm family - pitching in and doing your share. Didn't like distress and discord. Not natural. Several litters of kittens. She got run over. Didn't tell me at the time. Hunched over caused painful body posture and what the body has to do to compensate. Arms tensed up.

My subconscious mind provided another explanation for the incident. My friends standing outside may have wished they could come into the garage and do some of the neat things I was doing with the machines. Since the equipment was dangerous, Daddy had a strict rule about not letting others work or "play" with the equipment.

Another time. Same position. Sharpening knives on a treadle. Large stone wheel in a blacksmith shop. Mine. Medium age. Sharpening scythes. Upper arms feel very tight. Larger build, huskier. Clothed for warmth wearing rough cloth. Open cut arms, over blouse. Longer hair. Sweating. There's the oven furnace. Metal work, not horseshoes, not knives. Window gratings. Young boy to help. Neighborhood boy. Almost too young to do the work. Onlooker, curious. Feel kindly toward him.

Now I had left this lifetime to recall the memory of another with some parallels to this one. Here I was as a blacksmith working away at the hearth and anvil with a young neighborhood boy looking on and helping out. From this psychological perspective, I experienced empathy for the young person that was myself in this lifetime.

Live nearby. Earthen thatched impression of place by lake where slept. Supper cooking. Warm feeling. Hard tedious work detailed and exacting. Vegetables on stove. She has an apron wiping her hands. Chubby, smiling, round face. Good to be out of the shop and into the warm room with a shoulder massage. Jovial person. I'm a lighter hearted person here. The work is tedious, but I laugh more and relax more. Nice meal, warm all around. Don't pick up on any of the other people around.

The contrast in styles between my then wife and I showed up. In contrast to this life, I was more light hearted. My wife there expressed an easy going happy relation to experience. Here were the seeds of my shadow that were buried in the subconscious in this lifetime.

A year later in 1578 - Country place still there. We're part of the help at this country house. Wagons and things to keep up. Metal work for the wagons and iron straps for the wheels. Good life. Work is hard but not excessive. Necessities are provided for. Place to eat and sleep. Not luxury, but content.

My position as part of the work crew for a country estate clarified at this point in the far memory. There was a sense of comfort but not extravagance. On the whole, life was good even though regular hard work was part of the picture.

Five to seven years later. Better dressed, more connected with the overseeing family. Manor house. More responsibilities. Higher level manager, caretaker manager clothes. Not hunched over machines any more. Organizing and supervising. Liked working with the hands. Got more but not as carefree. More serious now. Wife and cottage. She's the same, but I've changed. Elevated status, burdened by responsibilities. When I made things with my hands, I could control it. Now not so much control.

Now things had changed. I had been given more responsibilities that included supervising people. What was striking about that was how I missed the work I had done. Even though my living circumstances had improved, I was not happier with a supervisor position.

Enjoyed metal work and hammering it out. Clothes not the kind that you can get dirty. Wife can take it or leave it. She's still same old self. Hands on an apron in the manor house. When I get older, I'm bent over. Same image as in the shop hunched over with a cane. Frozen version of machine posture. Painful to walk around. Wife all shriveled up. She's not her jolly, happy self. She still smiles though, equanimity, through the wrinkles.

The consequences of a life locked in the tension pattern established as a youth were revealed. In old age, my body had become locked in the stooped over posture necessary to work the machinery as a boy. Unless I took steps to remedy the pattern in this lifetime, I might have the same outcome to look forward to.

Lesson - Stay close to the earth. Work with your hands. Do the things you can do well. Maybe it was too much to be elevated to that status. Physical stress can be massaged away. Mental stress can't be moved. Dying in bed. Seeing the corpse in the same position as at the saw. Old age death at 58. What happened when you were dead? Can see blacksmith shop and see it all in perspective. Too late now. Oh yes that's how it was. Now I understand. She's still there. She was coping, accepting. Didn't wait around. Spiraled off into eternity. Nowhere - entities around and waiting, wait state.

By stepping outside the experience, I could see that everything had a purpose in my life experience. Things that I had done or that were done to me had a larger reason. To see the grander scheme of things offered perspective for circumstances that seemed difficult or unfair while living them. This memoir provided an opportunity to discover that larger picture for this lifetime.

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