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Taking Carl Rogers' challenge to "build your own," I prepared a list of qualities that seemed important in relationship based on my struggles to achieve something like the threads of permanence he formulated:
| Spirituality |
a conscious awareness of the life of spirit in our relationship. |
| Commitment |
to our own path and to each other on our paths. |
| Compassion |
being there for each other when we hurt. |
| Dialogue |
sharing personal process with outside help when needed. |
| Trust |
being each other's best friend - honoring our commitment. |
| Bonding |
holding each other in our hearts. |
| Vision |
a scenario (ever changing) for our life experience together. |
| Consideration |
taking each other into account in the choices we make. |
| Acceptance |
not judging our differences - taking ourselves as we are. |
| Balance |
"wei wu wei" doing not-doing. |
| Community |
using relationship as a safe home base in "dealing with" the rest of the world. |
| Openness |
asking for what we want from and stating what we can give to each other. |
| Ownership |
keeping our projections to ourselves except as a part of our personal process. |
| Focus |
seeking answers "in here" rather than acting out "out there." |
| Passion |
full, expressive, heart bonded monogamous sexuality as spirits energy source. |
| Challenge |
bringing each other face-to-face with our issues but not pushing us over the edge. |
| Romance |
expressing the little essences of daily caring, tenderness, love and spontaneity. |
Although this represents my most recent effort, it will not be the last if past experience is a guide. |
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