Taking Carl Rogers' challenge to "build your own," I prepared a list of qualities that seemed important in relationship based on my struggles to achieve something like the threads of permanence he formulated:

Spirituality a conscious awareness of the life of spirit in our relationship.
Commitment to our own path and to each other on our paths.
Compassion being there for each other when we hurt.
Dialogue sharing personal process with outside help when needed.
Trust being each other's best friend - honoring our commitment.
Bonding holding each other in our hearts.
Vision a scenario (ever changing) for our life experience together.
Consideration taking each other into account in the choices we make.
Acceptance not judging our differences - taking ourselves as we are.
Balance "wei wu wei" doing not-doing.
Community using relationship as a safe home base in "dealing with" the rest of the world.
Openness asking for what we want from and stating what we can give to each other.
Ownership keeping our projections to ourselves except as a part of our personal process.
Focus seeking answers "in here" rather than acting out "out there."
Passion full, expressive, heart bonded monogamous sexuality as spirits energy source.
Challenge bringing each other face-to-face with our issues but not pushing us over the edge.
Romance expressing the little essences of daily caring, tenderness, love and spontaneity.

Although this represents my most recent effort, it will not be the last if past experience is a guide.


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