This diary entry was prepared during my last year of teaching at FIU. It reflects thoughts about my changing life circumstances. Work on this Memoir encouraged me to revisit the issues raised in the diary. Added emphasis appears in red, and my reactions are enclosed in a box:

Hindu philosophy recognizes four life stages: student, householder, hermit and teacher. I'm in the latter phase of hermit emerging as a teacher. My life experience, especially my non traditional exploration for thirty five years and my classroom teaching for twenty five years, has synthesized during the past year into a coherent vision of my life's work: facilitating rediscovery of The Intuitive Self among young professionals.

Rather than latter phase of hermit, I was just getting started. Writing this Memoir, I'm less sure of my life's work than ever before. My preconceived notions have largely fallen by the wayside. Whether I continue teaching remains to be seen. What will come after the debut of this web site is less clear than ever before. I'm trying to leave that to the Tao and allow The Intuitive Self to provide my direction.

In recent years, the public university has come under increasing pressure for student credit hour productivity, short term delivery of courses and frequent publication of traditional research. These pressures are not compatibile with facilitation of The Intuitive Self. This process is nurtured in a small class over an extended time period. While research outputs are less frequent, intuitive efforts to plum the depths of an elusive subject have increased.

This was the most important lesson I learned over the years teaching first Managerial Decision Styles and then Intuition in Management. I was committed to the small group process in my teaching.

During my hermit phase, I have identified these "threads of gold" from my life experience:

  1. A lifetime exploring provocative non mainstream ideas.
  2. A blend of eastern and western philosophical orientations.
  3. Use of latest computer capabilities to facilitate personal process.
  4. Skill in understanding and facilitating group process.
  5. Expertise in using journaling as a self discovery process.
  6. Ability to provide detailed student feedback on a weekly basis.
  7. Talent for encouraging self awareness, reflection and discovery.
  8. Experience with all levels of management teaching and training.
  9. Creation of integrating, synthesizing climates for learning.
These threads of gold represented strengths I had developed in my academic career. They are available for any endeavor that emerges from the new direction for my life and work.

As I emerge from the hermit phase, what venue is most suitable for my work? Due to the pressures noted above, a full time faculty position in a public university seems less consistent with my clarified career mission. The ideal climate appears to be one that emphasizes early and midcareer professionals in a small group setting for a three month time period. This suggests an adjunct position in a private MBA program on a semester calendar.

In preparation for the transition, I envisioned continuing in my teacher role in a college or university setting. At this point, I don't know if teaching will continue to be part of my life.

FIU has been exceptionally good to me all these years. But is this the time to consider moving on? I see myself teaching for the rest of my life. In that sense "retirement" does not represent a personal option. "Transition" is a be a more appropriate label for any career change that I make. At the end of the 96-97 school year, I can take early retirement. Should I transition to a teaching climate that is compatible with my emerging teaching mission? I'm finally hitting my stride - What track should I be running on?

I do not know the answer. But the Tao does. The way to do is to be!

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