Learning that others do not think as I do

I too often assume that others think and feel the way that I do about things. This is a bad assumption. Since we are all unique, I am opening up to the thoughts and feelings of others.

Identifying and expressing my resentments

My bottled up resentments fester and create psychic sores. I am learning to express them without attacking what I perceive is the source of these resentments.

Moving away from a deferring personality

I am learning to stand up for my needs by not always putting everything or everyone else first. I have most often deferred to my work. That is I put the completion of a task before meeting my needs such as to relax.

Opening up to and expressing feelings

I am letting people know what is going on in my heart and gut. When rushes come on, I am standing back and letting them flow. This is being done privately and publicly.

Expressing my vulnerability

I am letting people know when I am confused, or don't know, or I am weak, etc. These things are being expressed when they are felt as long as the context is appropriate. This shows that I am human.

Discovering the need for boundaries

In the past, I allowed myself to become a doormat. Without boundaries, I will become a doormat again to people. I will not continue to be a doormat to my work and to the success of HIP Systems.

Avoiding "say what I want to hear" setups

I should not ask a person if they want to do something when I am really asking them to meet my needs. These setups have fed my need to be a victim. Instead I am stating the need directly and seeing whether or not it can be met.

Learning that I should state my needs

Whatever I want from someone else I am stating directly. If I don't state directly what I need, no one can figure out if they can meet that need and tell me so. We can at least negotiate if they know what I want.

Being clear with others about stating their needs

I also am alert to whether others are stating their needs to me or asking me for something indirectly. When I recognize the latter, I am asking them what they need. Then I am telling them if I can meet the need.

Learning to nudge opportunities with sensitivity

I frequently see opportunities that others have to deal with an issue, make progress in their development, etc. This teacher or wise one in me is acting with gentle encouragement so that possibilities are recognized and explored rather then forced on someone else.

Taking care how humor is used

I use subtle, sly humor. This can be inappropriate in some situations especially if the subject has emotional overtones. For example teasing about dating or other women is being handled with care.

Learning how to communicate my metaphors

Metaphors are very important to me as a means of expressing deep connections or understandings. I am expressing myself directly and specifically when communicating these metaphors. Otherwise others may not get the message that I intend.

Hearing and speaking in the other's language

To enhance interpersonal communication, I am alert to the style of another's expression. This helps me really hear what they are saying and also helps me respond in a way they are more likely to understand.

Seeking equality in relationships

Each person no matter what their social, economic or educational differences brings unique talents to a situation. I avoid putting people down who are not equal to me.